When in therapy, stay invested in,
1. Defining and Redefining a problem;
2. Coming to a consensus of what is the problem;
3. Resolving the problem.
Typically, there is a lack of progress in therapy when points #1 and #2 are not worked through with absolute clarity.
Take the time to do this with your clients; suspend any particular solutions. Often times, clients don’t have a clear goal in therapy. Then our goal is to define a goal.
Let our theoretical orientations fade into the background, and let us face the challenge with as little imposition as possible of our pet approaches. Schools of therapy are like metaphors. Instead of trying to “psycho-educate” them into our language, pick the approach that resonates with your client’s worldview and beliefs.
When we stay close to the problem, we can see the experience of our client’s reality in the foreground, just a little bit clearer.
The person who instantaneously has a solution to your problem isn’t really listening to the complexity of your reality. We cannot fully connect and be present with another if we can’t make the space to experience their reality completely—and communicate to them our reactions.
The Heath brothers say,
“You can’t appreciate the solution until you appreciate the problem.”[1]
Study this image by Rene Magritte (1933) before you click play on the video
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Footnote:
[1] Chip and Dan Heath, The Power of Moments, p.106.
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