Inner and Outer Life

Tag: insight

Intentions and Effects

Some of the best photos taken are when there’s good natural light.

It makes a huge difference from a good versus a great photo.

There’s a catch. Though you should avoid pointing your lens towards the sun, try getting the people you want in your photo to face the sun instead. That’s what an amateur like me would put my parents, wife and young kids to do. Excellent lighting condition, but one of the most contorted facial expression you can get for a family shot at the picnic.

And it’s not like it wouldn’t be apparent. The feedback is immediate. No matter how many things you ask your loved ones to “open your eyes… smile!” isn’t going to work.

What I believe, the Pros would do instead, is focus on the result that they are after. That means, using the best available lighting, and, more importantly, making sure the subject of the photography is at their best (or the very least, able to open their eyes and able to say “chesse,” not “gesh.”)

Imagine two overlapping circles. One is our intentions, the other is the effects.

So easy to get stuck with our intentions and forget to see the effects of our intentions.

Our job as parents, managers, partners, family members, carers, and therapists is to bring the circle of intention and effects closer to each other.

One crucial step is not to get stuck on your intentions. Check the effects.

Make sure the other person is smiling.

(And Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones)

Becoming a Gifter

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   The truth is, I’m a lousy gift giver. Ask my wife.

   For the life of me,  my creativity becomes non-existent whenever I think of gifts to buy for her, or for family members (kids doesn’t count).  I once bought a jewelry box for my wife, when I later found out that she had hinted to me, that she wanted a particular inexpensive piece of earring. That wasn’t even the problem. The problem was that I actually thought buying the jewelry box  was a brilliant idea. “I nailed it,” I said to myself.

   I couldn’t have been further from the truth. Because truth resides in the other.

Insight isn’t a state of enlightenment or some form of intellectual prowess . Rather, Insight is a state of mutual agreement.  When we comment about a person, “He has good insight into his problem,” what we really mean is that we have come to a consensus, not some deep understanding of something.

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