Inner and Outer Life

Category: Reflections (Page 6 of 6)

The Movement of Recovery: Love, Work, & Play

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A man walking is never in balance, 

But always correcting for imbalance.

– Gregory Bateson

People with mental health concerns do recover. Even with chronic and serious mental health concerns like psychosis, obsession-compulsive disorder (OCD), borderline personality disorder (I prefer the terminology of interpersonal difficulty), there is reason to hope, as people do get better and lead a full functioning life.

And it’s also not about leading a  “normal” life, but an “optimal” life.

The literature in what is loosely called the Recovery Movement suggests several factors that contribute to a person’s recovery. Beyond what most mental health professionals thinks, it’s not just a reduction of symptoms like low mood, anxiety, or voice hearing, but rather consumers on the receiving end of help point towards a different horizon.

Gleaning from  a variety of clinical studies, qualitative research, and firsthand encounters with people on their journey of recovery, there are three pillars that stands out:

WorkLoveplay Continue reading

The Dark Side of Pursuing Happiness

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The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.

– Eric Hoffer (1954)

Have you considered that there is something dysfunctional about our deep cravings for the pursuit of happiness? It’s like most things in our lives. If we eat too much of it, it spoils the good of having enough.

Dark SIde of Happiness Graph

 This is about the dark side of the pursuit of happiness.

The Negative of Happiness

My profession in the mental health circles are guilty for propagating this overly simplistic and self-defeating idea. Sometimes it’s bubble wrapped in the paddings of positive psychology. At other times, it’s coated in the zeitgeist of “client’s goal” when they tell us that all they want is “TO BE HAPPY.” Shouldn’t we listen and abide by their goals?

This is the danger. We fail to see the negative impact of over-valuing something so innocuous, and forget to critically evaluate the shadow side of this pursuit.

A recent study by Ford, Mauss, and Gruber 1 caught my attention. I was totally floored when I read this.  Published in a well regarded American Psychological Association journal Emotion, these researchers wanted to find out if there were negative consequences to people who valued happiness to an extreme. It turns out that not only do these “happiness-chasers” have worse psychological health, such as experiencing depressive symptoms, there were also associated with bipolar disorder! Based on the combination of studies that Ford and colleagues did, they were even able to demonstrate that participants with extreme valuing of happiness were at an increased risk of developing manic symptoms, as well as maintaining feature of bipolar if they were already diagnosed with such an issue.

I was aware that the clients that I’ve met through the years with bipolar symptoms sometimes have inflated and grand goal-setting, which spirals them in a self-defeating cycle. But what Ford and colleagues indicated in their study was a flashbulb moment for me.

This has important implications for us to come full circles and reconsider the ethos of knowledges-based, and sometimes hedonistic culture. Happiness does have it’s dark side.

As a psychologist, I’m going to take a more specific angle. I’m going to make the case about about the negative impact of our “happiness-chase” on our emotional wellbeing.

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Do you Need a Holiday from a Holiday?

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The truth is, holidays are tiring. Most of our getaways are succumbed by our anxiety to see more, do more, get more – much like most of our working lives.

When we say, “i need a holiday,” what we are really saying is, ” I need a break,” “I need some rest to recharge.” Yet most of our vacation planning gets filled with activities. Even in our supposed break-times, we are busy! Ironies of ironies, social research indicate that people are just as stressed, if not more stressed BEFORE And AFTER a holiday. Think about the pile of work you try and clear before you leave, and the looming burden awaiting for your return to at the frontline.

When we are planning for our holiday, I think it it’s important to ask ourselves “what we really need?” Most of time, i reckon it’s rest. Meaning, a getaway from activity.

Non-activity is one of the biggest hurdle in modern living.

Sacred Places: A Space to Be

 

Attic window

Places affect us. In the buzzing ambience of my home country Singapore, most public spaces have a drone of chatter from the coffee-shops (the orders of your “Kopi-O!” are yelled out by the waiter to the person at the counter making your coffee), a pan-zooming effect of motor vehicle, or the chimes of bells and announcements from the public transport system. Even when I am home in my apartment, my family and I are never spared from buzz. Like most average Singaporeans, we live in pricey Housing Development Board (HDB) flats, which are often stacked high and packed close to each other. You can either be entertained by the commotion of your neighbor in the next block, feel part of the percussive trance of sacred ceremonies of the hindu temple, or go to the Chinese temple next-door to watch the Chinese Opera performing for the dead (Humans are also invited). We can appreciate this necessity for closeness, due to the scarcity of land – the smallest country in the world (and also the most expensive city to live in).

The price is high. It is not just the exposure to prolonged ambient noise that can cause a heightened stress response (see Julian Treasure TED talk on how sound affects us), or the density of people that we are confronted with on a daily basis. There is also a lack of space that we can rejuvenate, replenish, and hold us quietly in a disquieting world. I hear this often with people that I work with in therapy. After exploring with them about their troubles, I ask them what do they need at that particular point. I hear them say things like, “I just need to re-charge,” “I need to go somewhere to relax,” or “I just need some peace.” Continue reading

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