{"id":916,"date":"2016-09-08T09:00:51","date_gmt":"2016-09-08T09:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/Daryl_Chow\/Blog\/wordpress\/fullcircles\/?p=916"},"modified":"2016-09-08T09:00:51","modified_gmt":"2016-09-08T09:00:51","slug":"becoming-a-gifter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/becoming-a-gifter\/","title":{"rendered":"Becoming a Gifter"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"i-beg-your-pardon-excuse-me-frog-sweet\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0The truth is, I’m a lousy gift giver. Ask my wife.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0For the life of me,\u00a0 my creativity becomes non-existent whenever I think of gifts to buy for her, or for family members (kids doesn’t count).\u00a0 I once bought a jewelry box for my wife, when I later found out that she had hinted to me, that she wanted a particular inexpensive piece of earring. That wasn’t even the problem. The problem was that I actually thought buying the jewelry box\u00a0 was a brilliant idea. “I nailed it,” I said to myself.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0I couldn’t have been further from the truth. Because truth resides in the other.<\/p>\n

Insight isn’t a state of enlightenment or some form of intellectual prowess . Rather, Insight is a state of mutual agreement.\u00a0 When we comment about a person, \u201cHe has good insight into his problem,” what we really mean is that we have come to a consensus, not some deep understanding of something.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0Anyway, as a Gifter, I had no insight.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0Back from my last teaching day in Chicago, this lack of insight hit me hard. It was my first time away from my family since our daughter was born. I knew what to buy for my 3 year old (Because she told me she wanted a minnie mouse and a big lolly pop), and I thought I should be a nice hubby and buy something for my wife. My wife said, “No need to buy anything for me.” Right.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0I was living with my mentor, collaborator, and dear friend,\u00a0Scott Miller<\/a><\/strong>. The least I had was that I knew I lacked the “Gifting” insight, so I asked Scott for some help. He said, “Lets ask my wife.”<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0We immediately cornered Karen when she came home from work. I asked her, \u201cWhat should I buy for my wife?”<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0A tell-tale sign she was a true Gifter: She asked me questions.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0What kinda stuff she likes?<\/i>\u00a0(No idea)<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0What’s her taste like?<\/i>\u00a0(Erm)<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0What she’s into?<\/i>\u00a0(Hmmm)<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0“…Maybe you should pop by to this shop down the street called\u00a0Persona<\/a><\/strong>, and you might find something locally made for your wife.”<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0That’s it!! Locally handcrafted stuff, not likely to be found in our part of the world. And it’s in a specific shop! Sweet.\u00a0So at the last day of running the workshops, Scott and I headed down to Persona. We bought her a locally made necklace.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0That day, I begin my baptism as a Gifter.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0And I want insight.\u00a0 I want to have a level of outrospection to taste the wine of being a true Gifter like Karen.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0What this means is that I got to start practicing paying attention to those close to me. It’s so easy to take them for granted, simply because they are close.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0The practice of being a Gifter is an exercise in knowing how to love.<\/p>\n

“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love, ” says zen buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0It’s not even about the gift. It’s about being an attentive giver that makes one a Gifter.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0Harry Connick\u00a0 Jr. once spoke about his faith: “Folks ask me if I’m a practicing Catholic. I tell them, ‘Yes, I am. Gonna keep practicing until I get it right.'”<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0I’m going to keep practicing until I get it right.<\/p>\n

Daryl Chow, PhD<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[15,20,33,35],"class_list":["post-916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflections","tag-giving","tag-insight","tag-receiving","tag-reflections","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=916"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}