OnBeing<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nVanier had also inspired another one of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHere’s some critical lesson’s I’ve learned Vanier:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Protective Systems: <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n“We all have a deep fear of our own weaknesses because my weakness is what makes it possible for someone else to crush me. So I create mechanisms of defense and compulsion to protect myself. We all have protective systems designed to prevent people from seeing who we are.”<\/em>[1]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWhat I could do:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n“Recently a father asked me to go and see his wife. She was forty years old and eight months pregnant. She was in tears and a bit hysterical–this was her first baby and she knew that the child had a disability. I saw immediately that I couldn’t say a word to her. There are times when you must not say nice words. What I could do was send her to visit another mother who’d had a child a year previously with similar disablities to the child she was going to have. The two women got together and wept.”<\/em> [1]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
On Love:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n“If you discover that somebody really loves you, listens to you, then you begin to change. You come out from behind the barriers of fear that you have erected around your heart.”<\/em> [2]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n“We seek security in life, but truly how insecure if really is…”<\/em>[3]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n“If God is love, then how vulnerable God must be.”<\/em><\/span>[3]<\/span><\/p>\nOn Culture:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n“It\u2019s the realization of how to create a culture which is no longer a culture just of competition, but a culture of welcoming, where tenderness, where touch is important, and it’s not \u2014 neither sexualized nor aggressive. It has become human. And I think that this is what people with disabilities are teaching us. It’s, it’s something about what it means to be human and to relate and to celebrate life together.”<\/em> [3]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
On Community:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n“Some people say that communities start in mystery and end in bureaucracy…”[4]<\/span> “True community is defined by how we treat the weakest.<\/strong>“<\/em>[3]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n“L’Arche is\u00a0not a solution but a sign<\/strong>…You see, once I was speaking to a man in a big city in the United States. He said, \u2018Give me the formula and I\u2019ll create 300 L\u2019Arches in the next two years.\u2019 I said, \u2018It doesn\u2019t work like that. It\u2019s a transmission of a vision and it\u2019s counter culture. But that\u2019s OK<\/em>.\u201d [5]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n~~~<\/p>\n
Dedication to Psychiatrist Dr Gwee Kok Peng, who also passed away today. May you continue to dance.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\nFootnotes<\/span>:<\/span><\/p>\n[1]\u00a0Jean Vanier, “Living Gently in a Violent World,” p. 68<\/span><\/p>\n[2]\u00a0Jean Vanier, Encountering ‘the Other’ p 38<\/span><\/p>\n[3]\u00a0https:\/\/onbeing.org\/programs\/jean-vanier-the-wisdom-of-tenderness\/\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n[4] Jean Vanier, Community and Growth, p. 114.<\/span><\/p>\n[5]\u00a0Meaningful Work, by<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Shawn Askinosie and Lawren Askinosie, Location\u00a0\u00a02156<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[71,70,60],"class_list":["post-1145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflections","tag-community","tag-tenderness","tag-wisdom","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1145"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1153,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions\/1153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/fullcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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