{"id":6171,"date":"2024-08-09T02:02:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-08T18:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?p=6171"},"modified":"2024-12-27T02:05:40","modified_gmt":"2024-12-26T18:05:40","slug":"working-with-youths-frontiers-friday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/working-with-youths-frontiers-friday\/","title":{"rendered":"Working with Youths. Frontiers Friday"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Note: This article was originally published in Substack on 09 Aug. 202<\/em>4<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Challenges<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Working with youths has been the most challenging and the most rewarding aspect of my clinical practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though I started my career as a youth facilitator, I found that working with youths took more out of me than with adult clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One aspect of this is because they will call out your BS when they smell BS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I present as an uptight \u201cprofessional\u201d with my clipboard, delivering my evidenced-based practice to them, it often falls flat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve found that working especially with youths, the most professional thing you can do is to bring your entire person-hood to the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our therapeutic role asks of us to be less divided between our profession-hood and person-hood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a sense, everyday, in every one of our relationships, human beings are asking a simple question. And that question is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Is the person that I’m relating to here, more or less the same on the inside, as he or she is appears to be on the outside?<\/strong>1<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Punch<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In one of my first practicum placement in a secondary school, I nearly got punched by a student in the first session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back in 2004, this was the first time the school had a school counsellor. The teachers must have mistaken my role as a discipline master, as they sent me kids who were acting up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wrote about this in The First Kiss<\/a><\/em>2<\/a>:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The school principal came to me and said that she was sending Jonah to see me in the next period\u2014which was in five minutes. Before she left, she said, \u201cBy the way, just so that you are prepared, he punched the last counsellor at the family service agency.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat? What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe said he didn\u2019t like the look on his face.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was left with two minutes before the school bell rang for the next period, and I was in panic mode. Before I could start to think clearly, Jonah arrived at the office. He was big for a 15-year-old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello. I am Daryl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this about?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We are off to a bad start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My \u201cintervention?\u201d I said, \u201cWanna go for a drink at the canteen?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was not<\/em> in the treatment manual.<\/p>\n\n\n

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If I recall, this was the exact drink I bought for Jonah.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
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He looked more suspicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m paying,\u201d I said. We walked to the canteen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What ensued changed everything. I said, \u201cI know that I\u2019m a psychologist, and I\u2019m supposed to ask you all these questions about your problems. The truth is, I\u2019m more interested to know what you do for fun. What sort of interests do you have?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sized me up and said, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t know anything about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTry me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cI play the sitar.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The rest is history. We had a shared background with our love for music. I learned he was a devoted musician to the Indian classical music tradition. Our proceeding sessions were based on music metaphors3<\/a> (rhythm, harmony, melody) and how these applied to his presenting concerns of impulse control and anger management (\u201cLetting the notes breathe between the notes,\u201d for emotion regulation, \u201cpaying attention to others rather than focus on the self,\u201d for fostering prosocial behaviour).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t mention this in the book, but Jonah later admitted that he would have punched me in the face\u2014like he did with the previous counsellor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked what stopped him. He said, \u201cYou bought me a drink\u2026you didn\u2019t have to\u2026 and you didn’t ask BS questions about my problems at the start.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clearly, this doesn\u2019t mean that we should buy each young client a drink and talk about music in the therapy room all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mythologist Joseph Campbell sums it up,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFind a place inside where there\u2019s joy,<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

and the joy will burn out the pain.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coming Up<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the coming weeks, I will provide insightful resources on working with young people. I will also talk about working with more than one person in the room (i.e., parents, caregivers).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\/S: A screenshot of the subtitle from my sensitive editing tool.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n

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If you would like to learn more topics that can help your professional development, subscribe to the Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). On Frontiers Friday (FPD), we serve you directly to your Inbox highly curated recommendations each week.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n