{"id":4937,"date":"2022-04-09T00:29:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-08T16:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?p=4937"},"modified":"2024-05-28T21:53:07","modified_gmt":"2024-05-28T13:53:07","slug":"clientview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/clientview\/","title":{"rendered":"Client’s Point of View Series"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Note: This is a compilation of Frontier Friday<\/a><\/strong>, a weekly Substack published, originally released on 9 Apr. 202<\/em>2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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PART I<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Client’s Point of View<\/strong>
What is it like from the other side? This next few weeks, we are going to explore some of the empirical \u2013 and not so empirical \u2013 research that I’ve come across.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this missive, I’d shared a catalogue of questions I’ve stumbled upon a site called Quora. Not the most scientific website, but nonetheless, noteworthy. Here are some stuff that people shared about their experiences \u2013 the good the bad and the ugly \u2013 in therapy. As you read through the client’s perspective, let them remind you about things you already know.

Sidenote: It seems to me some of the questions might not be “real” questions from clients, but some therapists putting up questions for others to comment on. Nonetheless, the ones I’ve selected are worth us pondering on, especially some of the replies.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. \ud83d\ude12 Why doesn’t my therapist come to our session prepared? Our sessions seem to go nowhere unless I have had a terrible week and need to vent about something. If things have been going pretty smoothly, she has nothing to talk about. I am getting annoyed.<\/a><\/strong><\/em>
     <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. \ud83d\ude20 My therapist asks me before every session \u201cwhat would you like to talk about today?\u201d We\u2019ve had 10+ sessions, shouldn\u2019t she have a plan or understanding of my issues by now?<\/a><\/strong><\/em>
    I love these 2 questions!
    I’ve heard several people articulate this question to me before about their prior experience in therapy.
    The real question for therapist to consider is “How do I develop a sense of direction and effective focus for this client, while staying open and adaptive to the unfolding of life happenstance, and weaving this in to the bigger picture?”
    Besides, there is no such thing as passive listening (well, maybe on Spotify and radio). You are an active agent of the healing conversation 
    So yes, deliberation, reflection and making the connection to the bigger picture is needed.
     <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. \ud83d\ude22 How should I interpret this? My therapist of 2 years recently told me that she will be returning to face to face sessions but only with certain clients and I will not be one of them. I feel so hurt by this. As a client, what would you do in my shoes?<\/a><\/strong><\/em>
    I recently heard someone experienced this exact situation and was so confused and feeling rejected.
     <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. \ud83d\ude29 After 2 years of therapy, my therapist terminated me mid-session. She stated “because of my dependency on her as well as her countertransference, she could no longer ethically treat me.” She then referred me to someone else. I’m devastated. What now?<\/a><\/strong><\/em>
    Read Susan Parifuku’s response to this question:

    “I too, after 2.5 yrs, was “terminated” by my therapist. Reasons were that “I was constantly in crisis”, which was true. I saw her after she was my therapist in a residential setting. She was strictly DBT oriented.”<\/em>

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  5. \u23f8 Words Worth Contemplating:<\/strong>
    “Love begins with paying attention to others, with an act of gracious self-forgetting. This is the condition in which we grow.”<\/em>
    ~ John O’Donohue,     Anam Cara<\/a><\/strong>, p. 28.
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    Reflection:<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    The paradox of our personal and professional development is to take the journey from self-examination to worrying less about how smart I sound, how impressive I am, and even how impactful I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    A sort of “graceful self-forgetting” \u2013 to leave oneself \u2013 is required in order for us to be to fully engaged in conversation nature of therapeutic emergent reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Turn off the self-view. Remove mirrors. Shine the light were it needs to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    PART II<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    You might need more than 4 hours to cover all of this week’s recommendations, but if you have yet to hear about Very Bad Therapy podcast, please do yourself a favor and listen to my colleagues Carrie Wiita and Ben Fineman and their guests on their show on VBT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Ben and Carrie also guest-posted on Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development <\/strong>blog 2 years ago. They shared about “4 Lessons from 20 Weeks of Very Bad Therapy<\/a><\/strong>” (just to be clear, it’s not 20 weeks of going through bad therapy, but of hosting the podcat VBT).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Here’s the 4 points that Ben and Carrie highlighted:
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    I. Clients experience significant barriers to providing honest feedback about the therapeutic relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    II. Therapeutic ruptures can be helpful, but only if they are repaired.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    III. Bad therapy is often nonverbal.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    IV. Clients <\/strong>will<\/strong><\/em> keep coming back even when therapy has harmful effects<\/strong>.
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    For more, read their reflection<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    What’s really insightful of their podcast format is that you get to hear real clients speaking about their experiences, and they also pair that up with a professional to unpack that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If you have not heard VBT yet, I highly recommend a handful of episodes to check out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    1. Episode 1 – EMDR for Dummies (with Curt Widhalm, LMFT)<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Episode 78 – Very Bad Couples Therapy (with Dr. Bonnie Kennan)<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. Episode 61 – What Heals Trauma? (with Chrissy Gillmore, MCoun)<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
    4. Episode 54 – How Much Therapy is Necessary?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n


      Good Friday Additions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      I. Episodes of VBT on my “to listen” list:<\/strong>
      a.       Episode 83 – Drive-Thru DBT (with Dr. Ben Caldwell)<\/a><\/strong>
      b.       Episode 82 – Predatory Therapists (with Dr. Diane Gehart)<\/a><\/strong>
      c.       Episode 65 – When Treatment Fails (with Henk Spierings)<\/a><\/strong>
       <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      II. Two podcast episodes that I was a guest:<\/strong>
      a.       Episode 45 – VBT in Focus: Dr. Scott Miller and Dr. Daryl Chow on Deliberate Practice<\/a><\/strong>
      b.       Episode 11 – The Intake Process is a Mess (with Dr. Daryl Chow)<\/a><\/strong>
       <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      III. Podcast app that I use: Snipd<\/a><\/strong>
      Long-time readers will notice that I scout around a bit for simple and elegant tech solutions. I’ve played around with several podcast players, but Snipd has been a game-changer for me. Why? You get to highlight text notes as it spits out transcrips, AND, I get to export it directly to my “Personalised Learning System (PLS)” note-taking app, Obsidian (For more on Obsidian, check out a       4-part video series<\/a><\/strong> I did on this).
      This really helps my learning process, as the audio files are auto-magically converted to text, making the notes easily searchable.

      5. \u23f8 Words Worth Contemplating:<\/strong>An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.<\/em>
      ~ Niels Bohr , Danish physicist and Nobel Prize winner<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      p\/s: Happy Easter to all on their Frontier.<\/em>
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      Reflection:<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      As you listen to some of the Very Bad Therapy podcast episodes, what is significant to you? What stands out?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      What are some “notes to self” you’d want to make, so that you do not forget some fundamental lessons?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      PART III<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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      1. \ud83d\udc53 Significant events in psychotherapy- An update of research findings<\/a><\/strong>
        Robert Elliot, known for his current involvement in emotion-focused therapy (EFT) work, was a pioneering researcher in studying significant events in psychotherapy in the 1980s. In this 2010 update from Ireland, Ladislav Timulak summarised the findings in this part of the psychotherapy literature.

        Key Grafs:<\/strong>
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