{"id":1847,"date":"2018-08-10T08:00:51","date_gmt":"2018-08-10T00:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?p=1847"},"modified":"2024-02-16T15:12:44","modified_gmt":"2024-02-16T07:12:44","slug":"follow-the-spark","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/follow-the-spark\/","title":{"rendered":"Follow the Spark"},"content":{"rendered":"

The paperback<\/span> of the book, The First Kiss: Undoing the Intake Model and Igniting First Sessions in Psychotherapy is now available!\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The ebook from various retailers (Kindle,\u00a0Apple, Kobo, etc.) with different reading formats is downloadable\u00a0here<\/a><\/strong><\/span>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s a chapter from the book that compliments the previous post, Follow the Pain.<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 25. Follow the Spark<\/b><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cFind a place inside where there\u2019s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

~ Joseph Campbell, mythologist, writer.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We can\u2019t just follow the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

We also need to \u201cfollow the spark.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat peaks your interest? What do you like doing? What do you do for fun?\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

These aren\u2019t ice-breaker questions. They are fire-starters. Figure what your clients enjoy devoting their time and attention to, is quintessential in the first session. Weave your interventions using your client\u2019s sparks. You want their sparks to catch their problems on fire.<\/span><\/p>\n

I learned this lesson early on when I was doing my post-graduate practicum in a secondary school. The teachers must have mistaken me for a discipline master, as they would send me kids who were acting up. One morning, as soon as I showed up, the school principal came to me and said that she was sending Jonah to see me in the next period\u2014which was in five minutes. Before she left, she said, \u201cBy the way, just so that you are prepared, he punched the last counsellor at the family service agency.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? What happened?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe said he didn\u2019t like the look on his face.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I was left with two minutes before the school bell rang for the next period, and I was in panic mode. Before I could start to think clearly, Jonah arrived at the office. He was big for a 15-year-old.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello. I am Daryl.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this about?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

I said, \u201cWanna go for a drink at the canteen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked more suspicious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m paying,\u201d I said. We walked to the canteen.<\/span><\/p>\n

What ensued changed everything. I said, \u201cI know that I\u2019m a psychologist, and I\u2019m supposed to ask you all these questions about your problems. The truth is, I\u2019m more interested to know what you do for fun. What sort of interests do you have?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He sized me up and said, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t know anything about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTry me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He said, \u201cI play the sitar.\u201d He paused, waiting for my response.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat is so cool! Are you serious? I play the sitar too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah right. No way… You\u2019re kidding right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The rest is history. In the sessions after, I gravitated towards the use music metaphors (rhythm, harmony, melody) and how these applied to his presenting concerns of impulse control and anger management (\u201cLetting the notes breathe between the notes,\u201d for emotion regulation, \u201cpaying attention to others rather than focus on the self,\u201d for fostering prosocial behaviour). In one of our sessions, we cut the talk and had a musical jam! (I\u2019m sure if my practicum supervisor found out, she wouldn\u2019t have approved of it as \u201cevidenced-based practice\u201d).<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, not every client will have the same interests as you, though it certainly helps if you have a broad palette for things in life. In the early session, the key is to be able to tap into what the late Klause Grawe calls \u201cresource activation.\u201d He and his colleague Daniel Gassman found that eliciting problems alone did not predict good outcomes. The researchers noted, \u201cUnsuccessful therapists focussed more on the patient\u2019s problems and tended to overlook the patient\u2019s resources.\u201d Instead, the degree of resource activation distinguished successful sessions from the unsuccessful sessions.\u2060<\/sup>\u20601<\/sup><\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes, all it takes is to ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s important for you in your life right now?\u201d Don\u2019t rush your clients for an answer. Tell them you are not looking for the right<\/i> answer, but one that is real<\/i> and alive for them. Renowned journalist Cal Fussman who has interviewed several icons like Mikhail Gorbachev, Jimmy Carter, Muhammad Ali, recommends that the best strategy to get to the heart of an interview is to \u201cfind out what they love.\u201d\u20602<\/sup> Remember: EVERYONE wants to tell their story, not just about their symptoms.<\/span><\/p>\n

A client in his 40s told me \u201cI just want to be there for my people<\/i> (his family and colleagues).\u201d Even though he was seeing me for the treatment of depressive symptoms, it was clear to me what\u2019s meaningful for him. If I didn\u2019t follow his spark in his life, no matter how hard I fanned the flame for self-care, it wouldn\u2019t ignite the fire. His antidote to his low mood would be to reignite his desire to connect with his wife and kids, and the people he was mentoring at work.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not enough to do cheerleading therapy or just \u201cbuild on strengths.\u201d Treat \u201cFollow the Pain\u201d as your left foot, and \u201cFollow the Spark\u201d as your right foot. You need both in order to create movement.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Notes:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1 <\/sup>Gassmann, D., & Grawe, K. (2006). General Change Mechanisms: The Relation Between Problem Activation and Resource Activation in Successful and Unsuccessful Therapeutic Interactions. Clinical Psychology &\u00a0 <\/span>Psychotherapy, 13<\/i>(1), 1-11. doi:http:\/\/dx.doi.org\/10.1002\/cpp.442<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

2 <\/sup>Cal Fussman was interviewed a second time on the Tim Ferriss Show. see: https:\/\/tim.blog\/2016\/08\/31\/cal-fussman-the-master-storyteller-returns\/<\/a>.<\/span> The segment about best strategies to\u00a0 <\/span>get to the heart of an interview is at 2:04:12 segment.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The paperback of the book, The First Kiss: Undoing the Intake Model and Igniting First Sessions in Psychotherapy is now available!\u00a0 The ebook from various retailers (Kindle,\u00a0Apple, Kobo, etc.) with different reading formats is...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[111,128,2],"tags":[79,77,46],"class_list":["post-1847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deliberate-practice","category-first-sessions","category-for-professionals","tag-engagement","tag-first-sessions","tag-psychotherapy"],"yoast_head":"\nFollow the Spark - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/follow-the-spark\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Follow the Spark - 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