{"id":1842,"date":"2018-08-07T19:30:25","date_gmt":"2018-08-07T11:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?p=1842"},"modified":"2024-02-16T14:47:23","modified_gmt":"2024-02-16T06:47:23","slug":"follow-the-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/follow-the-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Follow The Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

The paperback<\/span> of the book, The First Kiss: Undoing the Intake Model and Igniting First Sessions in Psychotherapy is now available!\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The ebook from various retailers (Kindle,\u00a0Apple, Kobo, etc.) with different reading formats is downloadable\u00a0here<\/a><\/strong><\/span>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s another chapter from the book.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter\u00a024. Follow the Pain<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cThe truth will set you free… But first it will hurt like hell.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

~ First heard from a friend, Edwyn de Souza. Original source unknown.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The term \u201cfollow the pain\u201d is borrowed from Leslie Greenberg\u2019s work in emotion-focused therapy. He and co-author Jeanne Watson call it \u201cdeveloping a pain compass,\u201d using it as an emotional tracking device.\u20601<\/sup>\u2060<\/sup> Bruce Ecker, lead proponent of coherence therapy, says that once you find the pain spot, \u201cPitch a tent. Set up camp right there.\u201d\u20602<\/sup><\/span><\/p>\n

This is a distinctive feature in psychotherapy. It goes where no hairdresser, bartender, or even well-meaning family and friends would go. When others hear something painful, their instinctive reaction is to soothe or divert to another topic.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the task of therapy, we are not to soothe too quickly, but rather to make room and deepen the experience of the complex layer of emotions. We needn\u2019t be cold-hearted in the process, as we need to offer a healing presence as we \u201cfollow the pain.\u201d This can be done in many ways without prematurely \u201cbandaging it up,\u201d such as providing empathic reflections, or even disclosing your emotional reactions. Implicitly, this can be done by slowing down the pace, lowering and deepening your voice, leaning forward to communicate presence and attentiveness.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When we soothe too quickly, we shut the door. Especially in the first session, we want to welcome our client\u2019s emotional world, as their inner life doesn\u2019t get invited into their usual social realm often.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There is a fine line between trauma and healing. We \u201cfollow the pain\u201d because we facilitate its healing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Notes:<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1 <\/sup>\u201cDeveloping a pain compass,\u201d see pp. 144-145 in Greenberg, L., & Watson, J. C. (2006). Emotion-focused therapy for depression<\/i>. Washington, DC: APA.<\/span><\/p>\n

2 <\/sup>\u201cPitch a tent. Set up camp right there.\u201d <\/i>as cited on page 51 of Ecker, B., Ticic, R., & Hulley, L. (2012).\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Unlocking the emotional brain: Eliminating symptoms at their roots using memory reconsolidation<\/i>. New\u00a0 <\/span>York: Routledge.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The paperback of the book, The First Kiss: Undoing the Intake Model and Igniting First Sessions in Psychotherapy is now available!\u00a0 The ebook from various retailers (Kindle,\u00a0Apple, Kobo, etc.) with different reading formats is...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[111,128,2],"tags":[79,77,46],"class_list":["post-1842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deliberate-practice","category-first-sessions","category-for-professionals","tag-engagement","tag-first-sessions","tag-psychotherapy"],"yoast_head":"\nFollow The Pain - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/follow-the-pain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Follow The Pain - 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