{"id":1715,"date":"2018-04-15T23:17:16","date_gmt":"2018-04-15T15:17:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?p=1715"},"modified":"2018-11-13T16:00:41","modified_gmt":"2018-11-13T08:00:41","slug":"the-work-before-the-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/the-work-before-the-work\/","title":{"rendered":"The Work Before the Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

How do you prepare yourself to enter into the space of therapy?<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you make room not just for your client, but for you, to facilitate the entrance of emotional safety, the safety for truth telling about one\u2019s inner life?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Photo by Paul Bula<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

How do you do the work before the work<\/span><\/a>?[1]<\/span><\/p>\n

Previously, we talked about deliberate practice<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>as something that you do backstage and offstage.<\/span><\/p>\n

How we prepare ourselves backstage, right before entering into the encounter with someone who is in distress, matters a great deal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Afterall, we are creatures of emotions. We have an undulating life, pushing and pulling by demands from work and commitments in the family. We too are not inoculated from distress and heartbreaks.<\/span><\/p>\n

The work before the work matters. Watch any performer backstage\u2014even the seasoned professionals\u2014 you\u2019d notice a pattern of behaviors. They are getting ready to enter into a different state of mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

For therapists, the work before the work is not to lose ourselves, but instead to dig into the ground and get ready to be\u00a0of one mind<\/em> with our clients.<\/span><\/p>\n

For that, I worry when therapists see 7-8 clients back to back. They are not only likely to be fatigued, but they put themselves at risk of losing themselves in the work. If there is no you, there is no therapy for your client.<\/span><\/p>\n

Read this story taken from Thomas Merton\u2019s book, The Way of Chuang Tzu<\/span><\/a>. It is about a woodcarver<\/span><\/a> who prepares himself for the task of making a bell stand. You will see how important it is to get ourselves out of the way.<\/span><\/p>\n

~~~<\/p>\n

THE WOODCARVER<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Khing, the master carver, made a bell stand
\nOf precious wood. When it was finished,
\nAll who saw it were astounded. They said it must be
\nThe work of spirits.
\nThe Prince of Lu said to the master carver:
\n“What is your secret?”<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Khing replied: “I am only a workman:
\nI have no secret. There is only this:
\nWhen I began to think about the work you commanded
\nI guarded my spirit, did not expend it
\nOn trifles, that were not to the point.
\nI fasted in order to set
\nMy heart at rest.
\nAfter three days fasting,
\nI had forgotten gain and success.
\nAfter five days
\nI had forgotten praise or criticism.
\nAfter seven days
\nI had forgotten my body
\nWith all its limbs.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“By this time all thought of your Highness
\nAnd of the court had faded away.
\nAll that might distract me from the work
\nHad vanished.
\nI was collected in the single thought
\nOf the bell stand.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Then I went to the forest
\nTo see the trees in their own natural state.
\nWhen the right tree appeared before my eyes,
\nThe bell stand also appeared in it, clearly, beyond doubt.
\nAll I had to do was to put forth my hand
\nand begin.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“If I had not met this particular tree
\nThere would have been
\nNo bell stand at all.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“What happened?
\nMy own collected thought
\nEncountered the hidden potential in the wood;
\nFrom this live encounter came the work
\nWhich you ascribe to the spirits.”<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

~~~<\/p>\n

May you\u00a0find\u00a0life in this work.<\/span><\/p>\n

~<\/p>\n

Footnotes:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

[1] I’ve borrowed this phrase from Quaker teacher Parker Palmer.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

[2] If you are interested in Thomas Merton’s work, though Seven Story Mountain is typically recommended, I highly recommend starting off with New Seeds of Contemplation<\/span><\/a>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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