{"id":1277,"date":"2017-08-15T13:20:45","date_gmt":"2017-08-15T05:20:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darylchow.com\/Daryl_Chow\/Blog\/wordpress\/?p=1277"},"modified":"2018-11-13T16:22:09","modified_gmt":"2018-11-13T08:22:09","slug":"our-real-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Our Real Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

What is our real<\/i> work?<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to think that the role of a psychotherapist is to treat a person or help our clients change. Indeed, that may be the outcome we hope for. But it\u2019s not the work that we need to put in.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Our<\/p>\n

\u201c…In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person?\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/span>Now I would phrase the question in this way: <\/i><\/b><\/span>How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/span>~Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person, p.32<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Our real <\/i>work is not to treat a person. We conflate the outcome we desire with the work that we need to put in, in order to get that outcome.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our real\u00a0<\/i>work is more like a gardener than a builder.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A builder builds, and when that\u2019s done, the work is done. A gardener lays the ground work, and waits for the seeds to grow. A builder\u2019s work is finite. A gardener\u2019s work is never done. She continues to tend to the plants, nurtures and prunes its branches.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Like a gardener, a therapist real <\/i>work is in the pre-work.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s what we do outside of the therapy hour, <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

in order to get better at what we do in the ritual of therapy.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I had a chat with my neighbor while we were moving out the bins.\u00a0 I asked, \u201cWhat do you do for work?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m an accountant.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really curious. What made you decide to do this?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Daryl, many people hate balancing spreadsheets (Maybe he knows that I\u2019m one of those people). But somehow I can, and I\u2019m good at it. So I figured that might just be the way I can help people.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My neighbor works\u00a0as\u00a0an accountant. But his real<\/i> work is to help people. Every work that we do, is embedded with the real <\/i>work that drives us, that has a ton of intrinsic value and deep history. It’s the thing that gets us off our beds every morning. It is the \u201cWhy we do what we do.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s safe to assume that most therapists get into this profession in order to be helpful. I think it\u2019s important to search inside ourselves and return to our Why\u2019s. <\/i>We should return to our Why\u2019s as often as<\/i>\u00a0we bath: Daily. Then we can proceed with the What <\/i>and the How <\/i>to get better.<\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"How,<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t make the mistake of focusing on only the How. <\/i>It\u2019s tempting. Workshops, CPE, and trainings lures us to make this assumption. It\u2019s just the tip of the iceberg. Figure out your What <\/i>and your Why.<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Perhaps our real <\/i>work is to be of service<\/i><\/b>. A good receptionist isn\u2019t just someone who greets you at the front desk. A good waiter isn\u2019t just someone who serves you food. A person who is of good service is someone who cares for you as another human being. They welcome you with their entire being, and make you feel good about yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

In order to be of good service to those in need or distress, we\u2019ve got to continue to figure out ways to nurture ourselves like a gardener (a builder is analogous to a therapist who thinks that his degrees qualifies him to do the work\u2014that he\u2019s \u201cdone\u201d.) and continue to reinvent the way we help our clients.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Stephen DeStaebler says, \u201cArtists don\u2019t get down to work until the pain of working is exceeded by the pain of not working.\u201d To do our real<\/i> work well is\u00a0hard work. LIke a gardener, it\u2019s not an one-shot effort.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ask yourself: \u201cWhy did you become a psychotherapist\/counsellor\/psychologist?\u201d \u201cWhy did you want to help people?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In memory of the late Eugene Gendlin<\/a>,<\/span> ask these questions and patiently get a felt sense of this; let your body speak. There is no right answer, only a real answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

May we continue our real<\/em> work.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blessings,<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Dary<\/span>l<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is our real work? It\u2019s easy to think that the role of a psychotherapist is to treat a person or help our clients change. Indeed, that may be the outcome we hope for....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[111,2,113],"tags":[7,13,32,45,56,59],"class_list":["post-1277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-deliberate-practice","category-for-professionals","category-learning","tag-clinical-practice","tag-cpe","tag-learning","tag-professional-development","tag-training","tag-work"],"yoast_head":"\nOur Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Our Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What is our real work? It\u2019s easy to think that the role of a psychotherapist is to treat a person or help our clients change. Indeed, that may be the outcome we hope for....\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-08-15T05:20:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-11-13T08:22:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"315\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/\",\"name\":\"Our Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-08-15T05:20:45+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-11-13T08:22:09+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/29803547b9b29324d78e46bfcd1eb08a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-AU\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-AU\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png\",\"width\":560,\"height\":315},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Our Real Work\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/\",\"name\":\"Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development\",\"description\":\"At the Bleeding Edge of Development, Reaping Benefit for Our Clients.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-AU\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/29803547b9b29324d78e46bfcd1eb08a\",\"name\":\"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-AU\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d5708a17fa4fa97aad72d7dd31b9f64e02813a7c21334c650618fedb402df4f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d5708a17fa4fa97aad72d7dd31b9f64e02813a7c21334c650618fedb402df4f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/darylchow.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/author\/darylcho\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Our Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Our Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development","og_description":"What is our real work? It\u2019s easy to think that the role of a psychotherapist is to treat a person or help our clients change. Indeed, that may be the outcome we hope for....","og_url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/","og_site_name":"Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development","article_published_time":"2017-08-15T05:20:45+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-11-13T08:22:09+00:00","og_image":[{"width":560,"height":315,"url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/","url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/","name":"Our Real Work - Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png","datePublished":"2017-08-15T05:20:45+00:00","dateModified":"2018-11-13T08:22:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/29803547b9b29324d78e46bfcd1eb08a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-AU","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-AU","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Our-Real-Work.png","width":560,"height":315},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/our-real-work\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Our Real Work"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#website","url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/","name":"Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development","description":"At the Bleeding Edge of Development, Reaping Benefit for Our Clients.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-AU"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/29803547b9b29324d78e46bfcd1eb08a","name":"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-AU","@id":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d5708a17fa4fa97aad72d7dd31b9f64e02813a7c21334c650618fedb402df4f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d5708a17fa4fa97aad72d7dd31b9f64e02813a7c21334c650618fedb402df4f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Daryl Chow, MA, PhD"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/darylchow.com"],"url":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/author\/darylcho\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1277"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2156,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1277\/revisions\/2156"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darylchow.com\/frontiers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}